took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
