just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I'm always down for nudity.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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