she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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