I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
