My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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