Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
of course. lets lasso hookers.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
