We're facebook friends in real life
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
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