his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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