He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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