Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
