I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize