"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
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