so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
