fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
