Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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