chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
She's like a pop up book from hell.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
