if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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