The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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