Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
