Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
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Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
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She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.