he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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