i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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