my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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