she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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