I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize
