And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
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If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
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I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
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