and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
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Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
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He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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