So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
