Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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