i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
She announced her abortion via fbk
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
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