why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
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