WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
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