My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
