I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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