you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
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