i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
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