she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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