Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize