Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"