What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
19 People Confess The Worst Things They Have Been Accused Of
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.