what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?