dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Randomize
