none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
