I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
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I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
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also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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