singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
