you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
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