Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize