I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Randomize
