allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Can vaginas get frostbite?
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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