i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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