mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Woke up backwards on a recliner
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize