I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize